Mind Shift

For those of you who grew up in the late 70’s/early 80’s, as I did, you probably aren’t a food waster and you certainly don’t play with food just for fun. This, afterall, is unacceptable behavior. “Just think of all those starving children in Ethiopia!” Now I’m all grown-up and have a son who doesn’t eat. His therapists are alerting me to the fact that he has a broken relationship with food. This “broken relationship” isn’t getting better….it’s actually getting worse every day. Stanton doesn’t even like to look, smell or touch some foods anymore…

…I clearly remember the summer after fifth grade. I spent some time with aunts, uncles and cousins in Kosciusko, Mississippi. One afternoon we all sat around the table at my grandmother’s and shared a meal from Kentucky Fried Chicken. I’ve never been as sick as I was later that day. All I could do was lie on one side and hold my breath. The pain was so severe! My Uncle Ted eventually took me to the ER where my Uncle Ed was on call. He gave me some medication to induce vomiting and empty my stomach. It was a horrible experience! To this day, I will not eat fried chicken or potato salad from a restaurant or at a function…

…this is how Stanton has experienced food…each and every time…a horrible experience. No wonder the relationship with food is “broken”.

How do we help Stanton understand that not all food is scary? How do we begin to build trust? The therapists are encouraging me to simply play with food. Our new goal is to get Stanton involved with touching, smelling, and playing with food. No hidden agenda – no expectation of eating – no asking him to “take a bite.” So, we’ve made rice crispy treats (with vegan butter), mashed bananas for banana bread, turned chocolate syrup into mud pits for his race cars and created Mr. Potato Head out of real potatoes.

The voice inside my head is reminding me that I’m wasting food and making a mess. “Yes,” I answer back, “I am wasting and playing and making a mess.” It’s okay. I remind the voice in my head that if Stanton was an eater, I’d be buying these foods anyway…and we just never know when Stanton might decide to take a lick.