Don't panic. I'm with you.

There's no need to fear for I'm your God.

I'll give you strength. I'll help you.

I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.

Isaiah 41:10

This verse became my mantra this week! Stanton has been very sick – again. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday consisted of me literally holding Stanton pretty much all day and night. This bout started as always with a clear runny nose and sneezing. Within 24 hours, Stanton was very lethargic and having a hard time breathing. In the pediatrician’s office his oxygen level read 45% (normal is 100% and the hospital admitting rate is 40%). Several breathing treatments later and armed with prescriptions for antibiotics, steroids, and two different medications for his nebulizer, we finally headed home. Every two hours I gave Stanton a breathing treatment, until that night, around 11:30, our nebulizer decided to stop working! Getting through Tuesday night was very scary. It’s hard watching your child struggle to breath and not be able to do anything about it. So I held him, paced, rocked, sang, prayed and cried.
Somehow we survived the night. Early Wednesday morning our dear friend Kim brought over her daughter’s nebulizer for us to use until we could get a new one. I’m not sure Kim realized what a blessing that was for me – but at that moment, I realized that we would be okay. A couple of breathing treatments later, Stanton finally drank an ounce of juice and played a little. I traded in our broken nebulizer for a new one. The new one is a purple dragon! It’s really cute. It even came with a castle carry case – very creative!
We made it to our appointment with Dr. Niolet, our fourth allergist. He said he must agree with the other allergist we’ve seen and doesn’t think Stanton is dealing with allergies. He feels Stanton’s immune system is low and he is having asthma type reactions to simple colds or seasonal allergies. So he gave Stanton an immune boosting shot for pneumonias and put him on a daily breathing treatment. We are to try this for a month and see how it’s going. If things don’t improve, Dr. Niolet said we would then investigate environmental allergies. I guess we’ve waited three years, so another month won’t hurt.

Today I received a letter stating Stanton’s MRI was “normal for a child his age.” I should be relieved right? And I guess deep down I am….but my mama gut still thinks there is something that connects all of Stanton’s issues…we just can’t seem to find it. And maybe it’s not for us to discover. Stanton is still Stanton and our precious boy!